But, let’s not talk about his presidency and cry-baby
attitude. Let’s have a little fun.
A few days ago I woke up with a crazy idea.
What video games would Donald Trump play?
I do not think he can play much with his small hands that surely cannot hold a controller right but let’s just think about it a little. After a little bit of research, I believe the orange general of incels would definitely be playing the following video games.
Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior
I actually remember playing this game when I was little. I
even figured out alone how I could easily finish the game with a little trick
that involved using the pause button very often to quickly see what move the
other fighter was going to do.
Why would the only US president ever banned on Twitter love
this game? Very simple. The cover art. It was this cover art that caused
controversy because of what was mentioned as being an ugly “pornographic
advertisement” and a game that is “offensive and particularly insulting to
women”.
While Donald would quickly drop the game when he saw just
guys fighting and the pixelated graphics, he would still buy it and try it just
because of the cover.
Super Seducer
“Super Seducer”, which was actually released in Japan with
the name “Super Monkey Ball”, was released by one of those sleazy con artist
pick-up gurus and billed as being “the world’s most realistic seduction
simulator”.
While the Donald surely does not think he needs any tips on
how to seduce a woman, he just grabs them by the p@#$, I can definitely see him
trying this game, although he will not find the option to pay for attention in
it.
Well, if you want to have a good laugh, just look on YouTube
for gameplay videos of this game. It is so incredibly bad and horrible that it
becomes funny. Grab some vodka and make fun of this “guru” and the outdated
advice offered.
Note: Unfortunately, there is even a Super Seducer 2.
And I think a Super Seducer 3 too. Damn.
Custer’s Revenge
Custer’s Revenge is the type of game that was developed by
someone that I really, really, really do not want to meet. You play as a
pixelated General Custer that has to dodge arrows and then reach a naked Native
American woman. She is tied to a cactus and you rape her. Weirdly enough, some
actually claim that the woman is willingly having sex with General Custer. I’m
sure El Donald would think the exact same thing. Someone that grabs women by
the pussy as foreplay cannot be trusted with being in the same room with any woman.
Carmageddon
Everyone remembers Carmageddon and if orange head were to
play games, he would definitely love this one, preferably in real-life with a
real car and with other races than white as pedestraians. Carmageddon caused a
lot of controversy and I remember playing the game when I was little. For me,
it was obvious it was just a game but the premise of getting money and points
for running people over upset many… and would most likely excite tRump. If it
were legal, he would actually do this in reality. I am quite sure that he would
love it. Except for Carmageddon: Max Damage since they made fun of him and Hilary
in the past elections with an add-on.
Border Patrol
Sometimes I think this is the game that el Donald played when he got the stupid idea for his wall. In the game, you play a border guard, American, of course. The goal is to protect the USA from immigrants that want to come in. Basically, you shoot Mexicans. Sounds right for him, no? This 100% racist game that makes Mexicans look like monsters you have to shoot. Need I say something else? I really do not think so.
Muslim Massacre
The name of this game was “Muslim Massacre: The Game of Modern Religious Genocide”. Should I even mention why Trump would play this game? This is a shoot ‘em up top-down game and your aim is to, well, kill Muslims. It is said you control an American hero and you have to use the most destructive weapons in the world to….get this… wipe out the Muslim race…
I do not even know what to say about this game. Never ever
heard about it until I started looking for games that Trump would play. I was
looking for racist games but I did not expect to see something that said “the
whole race”.
Bully
Last but certainly not least since there are countless
horrible video games out there that would be very appealing to this bully, the
Bully video game by Rockstar Games has to be on the list. It was quite
controversial and it is easy to understand why. Donald would surely love
playing a bully in a video game since this is the only thing he is in real
life. When he cannot bully, he tries to bribe. When he cannot bribe, he
declares bankruptcy. What a hero.
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